"Xandor Speaks: MIND KONTROL ULTRA"
Guest Commentary...
DEAR DEHUMANIZED DIGITAL DILETTANTES:
Mondo's Conspiracy Issue |
Hello, hello, are we asleep again? Are we nodding off at the wheel as we trundle down the data superhighway? As CompuServe hails a "New World Order" of "altered ideologies" and ecofascist Al Gore unveils his Trojan Horse data superhighway designed to trap millions of cognitive dissidents into revealing their interests and knowledge online to NSA digital snoops. Don't you realize PGP really means Pretty Good Prison? That deep-cover NSA datacops have been behind it all along? We live in interesting times. Did you know that the mars Observer was shut down when it sent back pictures of pyramids and cities? Or that Comet Shoemaker-Levy 9, scheduled to impact Jupiter on July 22, 1994 is really the ultimate doomsday "Alternative 3" scenario of the New World Order? And if that doesn't fry your synapses how about the Office of Naval Intelligence and the DIA's massive cover ELF weather-and mind-control war amongst Russia, Japan, France, and Israel, creating massive floods, earthquakes, cancer, AIDS, and other plagues in the process?
Remember, when you wake up agitated at 3:00 in the morning, that's when they're running ELF transmitters to program your dreams. It's also the time when most UFOs appear - quelle coincidence! Let me explain: They send out subliminal signals over all radio and TV channels and use microwave antennas to beam instructions via ELF modulation into your heads to reinforce hypnotic screen memories of alien doctors in spaceships, when they're actually Franken- steinian Nazi scientists running bizarre eugenics experiments in underground tunnels created by massive subterreaning machines which are the cause of the slowly moving hum you hear underground in Taos and other parts of the South- west.
Pirate Mind Station |
Have you figured it out yet? OK, let me spell it out for all you pathetic autists: They know exactly which ELF frequencies, waveforms, and code sequences (brainwave-frequency region pulse-code modulation superimposed widely on power lines, radio, TV, and microwave transmissions) to use and can create any emotion or pathology they please. You don't. And you probably down own a real ELF detector! You poor bleating sheep don't even know they're ALREADY using ELF generators in malls, restaurants, and bars to maximize throughput and revenues - even magnetizing fans in air conditioners and refrigerators to create pulsed ELF waves to zap you. It will all be duly captured by Hillary's SmartCard which will store your brainwaves and monitor all transactions everywhere you go, so the Thought Police can download it any old time via the data superhighway and issue the ultimate ACCESS DENIED. By the way, you can't escape ELF - there's no way to shield low-frequency magnetic waves - but I'll reveal secret techniques for defending yourself in the next MONDO... unless they get to me first.
Editors Note: The above was originally published in 1993, as featured on the end page of "Mondo 2000" - Issue 11 # (copyright 1993). Those were fun times, when the digital revolution was in it's infancy, ripe with possibilities and the US government still appeared to cling to a vestige of sanity and legitimacy. Bill Clinton had just been inaugurated in January of '93 and the future looked so bright, we had to wear shades...
The question is... given all that has transpired since then... do Xandor's rants still hold up? We strongly recommend that the reader climb up into the attic and dust off those old copies of Mondo 2000 and re-read Xandor's editorials... They are very entertaining and, we think, still educational.
The question is... given all that has transpired since then... do Xandor's rants still hold up? We strongly recommend that the reader climb up into the attic and dust off those old copies of Mondo 2000 and re-read Xandor's editorials... They are very entertaining and, we think, still educational.
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